I retired in November 2018 after 39 years working for the federal government. It wasn’t my original plan, but as I’ve learned through the years, if God has other plans, our plans are crap!
In my last year of employment, I was subject to bullying by one of the most mean spirited people I have ever had the displeasure to know. I had seen him bullying other people, and I knew it wouldn’t be long until I fell victim to his nasty personality.
We once were peers, and as much as he tried to bring me down, I was able to come right back at him. The day he became my supervisor, his motive was quite clear, and it wasn’t long until others could see the torment I was dealt on a daily basis. Higher ups chose to turn their heads. When I got the courage to make a formal complaint of harassment and tried to tell of how he could manipulate any conversation, more than one person responded with, “I’m sure he is a great manipulator because he was a recruiter in the military”.
There were numerous promises to investigate the complaints, but I doubt anything was done. I refused to give up, although I had threatened to retire the first time he disrespected me.
I hung in there for a year. Every time I had to encounter him was like a taste of something sour and rancid. I developed migraines, my stress level was at an all time high even with antidepressants, and my mental, physical, and emotional health began to suffer. I started to doubt my self worth, and my self esteem started to unravel. I started seeing a therapist to deal with my mental issues, and a neurologist for my migraines. I was a mess!
I did what I try to do each time I’m scared or just need answers – I turned to God, and I felt him talking to me. I asked for a sign for what I needed to do – retire or stay, and he answered by putting Charley in my path! I even heard the date God wanted me to retire, November 2. Every time I would have a rare good day, ex. Charley was off or elsewhere, I would think I could wait a little longer to retire. Then my tormentor would rear his ugly head and November 2 would shout back at me.
I did retire on November 2 and have never regretted it. I knew I was a mess, but didn’t realize how messy I was until I walked out that door on that last day. It was like a heavy shroud had been lifted from me. I didn’t give up, and Charley didn’t win. I took back control of my life! I did some remodeling of my home; I’m learning to paint; I work out 4 – 5 days a week; I started this blog! I’m finding me again!
If I ever see him again, I want to tell him “thank you” for leading me to retire as I love it! Thank you CR for making a day at work so miserable that I chose to retire!
I DIDN’T GIVE UP! 